These are perilous times, students being escorted to and from lunch, bathrooms constantly monitored, and the ever-present oppressive stench of uneaten cafeteria food. Yes, I am talking about the new fad of making bomb threats. School has become an over strict camp, one where free will is gone.
For example, I was walking back from a quick “conference” with Mrs. Refveem when I heard a call, the call of my bladder. No teacher was in sight as ducked quickly into the bathroom. I checked over my shoulder several times to make sure that no one had observed my “criminal” action. Amazing how something as simple as going to the bathroom can give one such a feeling of guilt and fear of doing wrong.
After pondering about such hard times, I have reached but one conclusion; this school needs a hero. But who can fill such a need? Ingenuity and strength are both required for such a man. Like lightning from heaven, or perhaps one of Chuck Norris’s lightning fast roundhouse kicks, the answer hit me. MacNorris! Who is MacNorris you might ask? MacNorris just happens to be a hybrid of the most deadly and feared characters of all time. The ingenuity and fast thinking of MacGyver—the deadly roundhouse kick of Chuck Norris.
As I followed this train of thought, I realized that in less than 20 minutes, MacNorris could not only find a bomb in the school, he could also disarm the bomb, find the culprit, roundhouse kick him into submission, and all using only two toothpicks and a roll of duct tape! Even better, since MacNorris has a heart bigger than his muscles—earned from OMNI-gym workout videos—MacNorris would do all this for free. Of course, after MacNorris completed his task, he would get on his horse, give the school a large thumbs-up, and ride off into the sunset.
In all seriousness, times like these do not require a hero, but instead necessitate that the student body should band together in an effort to catch the person (or persons) behind the threats. Wait, what am I talking about? Scratch that; I just hope I get the chance to tell my grandchildren about the time the legendary MacNorris saved the school from imminent destruction—using primarily no. 2 lead pencils and a dry erase marker
have i mentioned i like orange?
funny article. i really enjoyed it. did you write it or was it someone from the paper who liked the idea?
hey logan, do you like orange?
Yeah, I wrote it. In fact, I promised the journalism staff an article by today, which I forgot. Fortunately I remembered during drafting and I was able to finish the thing before lunch. Overall, a pretty good day.
Heads up to all ye posters of orange and such nonsense. YOU WILL BE BANNED! The moderator has awoken from his slumber, now he towers like a giant, prepared to crush the color orange like squash in a piece of squash caserole.
just kidding
haha!
I really do like orange. It's my favorite flavor! And I think Ricky Recardo was tall!
No orange for me. nor cherry. must be strawberry, if a fruit at all. oops i forgot banana, really don't care for banana. like the article. reminds me of the Lehi High School Pioneer Post. I wrote many articles last minute, someitmes three or four in one night to fill a blank page in the paper. I also wrote most of the articles submitted to the paper because most of the staff thought interview notes constituted an actual article. My was that fun. i miss those uncomplicated days. :).
i didn't know that you wrote for the school paper, lisa. interesting. i like orange if its true orange (like orange juice). i don't like the fake kind. same with cherry. i guess all of them, really, but others i can handle a little bit if they are "fake", like grape or strawberry.
Cool stories everybody! I've got to say though, I'm pretty sure that my favorite color/fruit would have to be chocolate. Might as well through in some plain sugar too........
Yesterday when we were leaving the basketball games, the stake YM pres. said he was going to Cook-Out. Kristin B. was there and said, "Oh, they have the best banana milkshakes!" Then Bro. McDonald said, "And, if you ask, they'll throw in some blueberries!" After they got finished talking and we got into the van, I said, "Okay, I want to go to Cook-Out and get one of those shakes!" I got the banana blueberry and it was delicious! Everyone tried something different and I think they were all good!
A Jason Bourne/Jack Bauer hybrid dude would own MacNorris.
thanks to logan for getting this post sidetracked to food, but mama reminded me of sonics cream pie shakes. i've always gotten the chocolate (which is really good, but even a small is too much...which for me is really saying something!). ethan said the coconut is the best. i don't know...i tend to stick to what i know i like & not branch out!
I agree with Kristen, stick to whats good. Although I have been known to branch out to "unknown" foods, most of my forays into such an area usually don't end well :)
As for the Bourne/Bauer hybrid, I've got to say the only way to beat that is with pure Chuck Norris...lol.
Seriously though, Bourne is probably my favorite movie hero of all time, Bauer ranks slighltly lower in the 2nd-3rd range.
was it you who ordered spaghetti carbonara?
yeah....uhhh....that was me :(
whoops
ugh...bacon & eggs just don't go with spaghetti...although, you would think that would be obvious from the description!
it sounded sooo good at the time, the menu fooled me soo deceptively :)
we will see who has the last laugh....ah ah ah